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273 of 365 Art by Bryn Oh

chestnut rau — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 19:50:00 +0000

(click to enlarge so you can read Bryn's poem)

Bryn Oh's Immersiva is genius and always inspiring.

272 of 365 Impromptu Concert in Edloe

chestnut rau — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 00:45:00 +0000

"The Truth Don't Matter Anyway" or so says Zorch Boomhauer

271 of 365 Dignity and Resect

chestnut rau — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 01:26:00 +0000

Today the training was all about understanding human behavior. The trainer was amazingly interesting and worked hard to impart tools to help us be better managers. I am not convinced that sitting in a fancy lecture center with all kinds of AV equipment and dark chocolate mousse served promptly at 3pm each day is going to make me a better mentor and coach to my staff. Having said that there was a lot of research presented that helped explain why people act in the complex ways we do and the trainer suggested some simple things we can do to accomplish our goals.

What it came down to is this - we all need to act with integrity and honesty. The key to being successful is direct, clear communication. There was nothing revolutionary said but taking a few days out of the crush of the day to day to remember we need to treat each other with kindness and respect is always a good idea. So is dark chocolate at 3pm.

270 of 365 College Radio

chestnut rau — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 20:41:00 +0000

When I went to college I experienced the thrill of musical discovery via WHRW, SUNY Binghamton's college radio station. The station is run by students and as a result the music played on the air ranges from the alternative to the classical to the absurd. I learned a lot hanging out at the radio station and to this day I think my musical tastes are influenced by the early exposure I had to alternatives to commercial radio. Of course, this statement dates me because clearly I went to college before Youtube, satellite radio and the widespread availability of musical alternatives via the internet. Shaddup.

I think I will always have a soft spot in my heart for college radio. When I am in my car I tend to listen to WFUV, which is Fordham University's radio station. When I travel to a new place one of the first things I do is explore the lower end of the radio dial to see what the local college students are playing on the air. Today I have been enjoying the Ithaca College Radio station WICB. Most college stations stream online so if you are looking for a fresh look at music check out these links and if you have your own favorite please let me know in a comment.

269 of 365 Guest Photographer Mike1 Shamrock

chestnut rau — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 00:12:00 +0000

Question: How lazy am I?
Answer: Very

268 of 365 Guest Photographer Zha Ewry

chestnut rau — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 23:04:00 +0000

I am tired and lazy so Zha took a photo for me. Its lovely I think.

On the Road: Binghamton and Ithaca

chestnut rau — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 00:06:00 +0000

There must be one of those unwritten laws of the universe that holds "if you drive on a Thruway, there will be a major thunderstorm during the exact hours you are hurtling down the road at 70 miles an hour." Two weeks ago when we went to western Pennsylvania to see my cousin it poured and today as I drove west across upstate New York it poured.

When I got near Binghamton the grey skies parted and the sun came out. They sky was the color of my son's eyes and there were big white fluffy Simpson clouds. Now, Binghamton New York is one of those old industrial cities that has had its ups and downs. It has spots that shine and other places that have a veneer of dirt and age and poor. I happen to love Binghamton because I went to college there. I spent four years learning about music and reading great books. I developed friendships that last to this day in that beat up old city and the memories of those days are cherished.

Having said that I have had no reason to go back to Binghamton for many years. The only way to get to Ithaca from my house means you drive right by Binghamton and I just had to stop this afternoon. When I pulled off the highway I had no real destination. I wanted to see what I could see and grab any memories that came my way. It was funny. I drove down a main street and the street names were suddenly familiar. I realized I was about three blocks away from the house I lived in on Chestnut Street near the corner of Leroy Street.

We lived on the first floor -- our front door was to the left side of the house. The two front windows leaked like crazy and my bedroom was freezing. Lynn's room was in the center of the house and while she had to put up with a LOT of noise it was warm, which in Binghamton in the winter is a major consideration. Our other roommate used the dining room as a bedroom because we were poor college students and that is just how things went back then. Lots of ill advised things happened in our place, some of them stupid and others just plain illegal. College.

I looked at that house for a moment, said a few silent thank yous to whatever guardian angel helped me live through some of the things I did. Then, I drove down the two lane highway that takes you from Binghamton to Ithaca -- passing signs for pig roasts and Sunday pancake breakfasts. I drove by bored looking kids throwing base balls and grandmas in old house dresses watering the flower pots hanging from peeling porches. This part of upstate New York is beautiful. I could so easily live out in the country, provided I had good connectivity of course.

Ithaca is a vibrant collge town. There are fabulous restaurants, interesting shops and the Commons is alive with music and people on a Sunday evening. I enjoyed a walk through the city picking out which house I would buy as is my habit every time I travel. I think I will always want to uproot my life and move somewhere new.

(This was painted on a construction site I passed on the Ithaca Commons during my search for dinner.)

267 of 365

chestnut rau — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 14:36:00 +0000

This morning I talked to Fractured about stalkers, haters and blog posts. There was this guy who wrote about me and wrote about him...if only we could remember his name......

~~~

I am hitting the road today for a trip to Ithaca, NY and Cornell University. I am going to be participating in a week long course up there this week. I will be driving alone and have a hotel room to myself for the next five nights. I am not sure if it will be lonely or total bliss. I am leaning toward total bliss.

<3 Ches

266 of 365 My new mailbox & Phalen’s Old Spice Girl Machinima

chestnut rau — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 11:59:00 +0000

Like everyone, I get tons of marketing information every time I log in to SL and if I am being honest, I ignore somewhere in the neighborhood of 99% of it. I get so much crap that it feels like an avalanche of ME ME ME ME ME ME when I log in and it drives me nuts. My response is delete, delete, delete. I am sure I miss a lot of things I would be interested in but being bombarded the second I log in is just plain annoying.

I have no idea why this adorable mail box made by Clementine Ishtari of Awesome Blossom stood out from the morning mob scene in my inbox, but it sure did. The mailbox is color change, has three cute poses and the really fun part is your friends can leave you messages! You drop a notecard into the mailbox and then they can retrieve it with a touch. How adorable is that? I am fairly sure no one is going to leave me notes but if I were a shop owner this would be a fun little way to get information from customers. Go here and get yours for just $60L today.

Clementine's note card says "All is full of Awesome!" and that might be my tag line for today.

~~~~~~

If you have not seen Phaylen Fairchild's Machinima spoofing the Old Spice Ads, you really must watch. Phalen is an amazing talent.

265 of 365

chestnut rau — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 03:14:00 +0000

I have been having way too much fun to write or even think a lot about my 365. So, you all get late night snaps taken on my sim without any post processing. Sometimes I would rather live than take pictures of my life. You understand, right?

(Please do click the image for a larger view. It will make this post less of a complete waste of your time)

264 of 365 My Tribe is Home

chestnut rau — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 01:24:00 +0000

263 of 365

chestnut rau — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 01:42:00 +0000

offline for a bit

chestnut rau — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 13:42:00 +0000

(From laffy4K's flickr stream. Used under a creative commons license)

We have french doors off the kitchen that open to the patio. It is lovely to open the doors and let the breeze blow in from the garden, especially on a summer evening. Last night as I was chopping vegetables, listening to old school Talking Heads and dancing around the kitchen when the sky suddenly went dark and the rain started. I put down the knife and walked over to the open doors and watched the water come down in sheets. Long rivulets of much needed rain drenched my garden, bouncing up off the stone path and pooling in the grass. The blue phlox plants looked almost happy as their heavy heads bent over and touched the ground in gratitude.

I wanted to run outside and dance in the downpour. It was that kind of rain -- cool and refreshing enough to cut through the terrorizing New York summer humidity. When the rains come everything looks green and the glistening silver sheets of rain offer welcome relief from the head pounding heat wave. I was grateful for the rain and the breeze enjoyed a moment feeling thankful for my beautiful house and happy home.

Just then there was one of those lightening strikes that makes you jump and scream involuntarily. The boom was at the exact same moment as the flash and I was sure the house was hit. As it turns out, the lightening hit the pole outside the front of my house. We did not lose power but it appears my FIOS box is fried and will not be fixed until Wednesday at the earliest.

I had a lovely evening last night cuddling with my husband and son, playing with the dog and reading a book. Yep, I read the kind of old school book with actual pages. Its just crazy, I know.

I wont be able to do a 365 for a little bit. I am taking a short forced SL hiatus and quite enjoying my time in the physical world. See you soon enough.

<3 Ches

261 of 365 Lounge of Dreams

chestnut rau — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 01:57:00 +0000

260 of 365 For the Love of a Child

chestnut rau — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 20:12:00 +0000

Linden Memorial Park Candle Beach

Just a few days ago I was talking to a friend about how difficult it can be to navigate the road to adulthood. We talked about our sons and the challenges extremely smart kids sometimes have fitting in to the world around them. During that conversation she said to me, "Ches a lot of these kids never make it." If we were in a movie, there would have been music at that point in the conversation to let you know in no uncertain terms something horrible was about to happen.

My friend's son died today. When I found out I sobbed like a baby for long time. I was quite surprised at how upset I was, given that this person is a new friend and we don't know each other well. I have never met her face to face and I didn't even know her son's name until today. But when she said to me "my beautiful brilliant boy is gone" I cried for her, for her son, for me and for my son and for every one of the brilliant young people I know. Life can be so hard and so unfair.

~~~

I want to write about motherhood and the way we feel our children's pain physically. I want to write about how hard it was for me to actually have a child and I want to write about the baby I lost a few years ago. I want to describe the feeling of a child moving inside of you and how I believe that pure connectedness with another person is something we all crave our entire lives. I want to write about how fragile life is and how we need to hold our loved ones close and tell them how much we care every single day.

But right now all I can do is cry.

259 of 365

chestnut rau — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 03:39:00 +0000

"10 Reasons to Stop Apologizing for Your Online Life"

chestnut rau — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 15:57:00 +0000

Peter Stindberg plurked a link to a Harvard Business Review article by Alexandra Samuel called 10 Reasons to Stop Apologizing for Your Online Life. Please go here and read the article in its entirety. I loved it and share the 10 things for you here.

It's time to start living in 21st century reality: a reality that is both on- and offline. Acknowledge online life as real, and the Internet's transformative potential opens up:

1. When you commit to being your real self online, you discover parts of yourself you never dared to share offline.

2. When you visualize the real person you're about to e-mail or tweet, you bring human qualities of attention and empathy to your online communications.

3. When you take the idea of online presence literally, you can experience your online disembodiment as a journey into your mind rather than out of your body.

4. When you treat your Facebook connections as real friends instead of "friends", you stop worrying about how many you have and focus on how well you treat them.

5. When you take your Flickr photos, YouTube videos and blog posts seriously as real art, you reclaim creative expression as your birthright.

6. When you focus on creating real meaning with your time online, your online footprint makes a deeper impression.

7. When you treat your online attention as a real resource, you invest your attention in the sites that reflect your values, helping those sites grow.

8. When you spend your online time on what really matters to you, you experience your time online as an authentic reflection of your values.

9. When you embrace online conversations as real, you imbue them with the power to change how you and others think and feel.

10. When you talk honestly about the real joys and frustrations of the Internet, you can stop apologizing for your life online.

If this sounds like the kind of reality you want to live in, I've got great news: you can move in today. All it takes is the decision to treat your online existence seriously, honestly and attentively, and you will find that the Internet is RLT: Real Life Too.

Second Life of My Dreams 2010-07-15 09:43:00

chestnut rau — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 16:43:00 +0000

This old, old Indigo Girls song always lifts my spirits.

~~~~

"I used to think you needed to see it, to believe it.

But now I realize that to see it, you must first believe it.

Everything is possible. Everything is possible."

Andre Jordan

258 of 365 Electronic Detritus in the Age of Social Networking

chestnut rau — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 13:24:00 +0000

(best viewed larger, as always)
~~~

Relationships never used to leave electronic detritus behind when they ended. There was no decision to be made about deleting a phone number from my blackberry or contact information from skype. I never spent time deciphering the actual intent of an emoticon in a chat log before deleting the file in disgust. It used to be friendships faded, people went their own way and when you ran into each other in town it was awkward for a second before you thought "I wonder why they ever mattered anyway."

So, tell me, do you delete people from your friends list or do you keep them around? I am feeling a huge purge coming on and I wonder how others manage the electronic detritus of their virtual lives.

The one in which Ches’ overtired brain won’t stop murmuring, murmuring words

chestnut rau — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 03:12:00 +0000

Today a poet I don't know at all reached out to me. He said he read my blog and complimented my writing. He encouraged me to read my words at the Blue Angel poetry open mic. I was flattered beyond measure and completely blown away by the suggestion. I can't imagine doing it. How could I possibly? I don't even write poetry.

~~~

There is something completely delicious about getting to know a new friend. Hi Mike.

~~~

Did I mention Chase was in world yesterday? Have I said how much I have missed her and how good it was to see her? Some people make my heart sing and she is one of them.

257 of 365 Chase

chestnut rau — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 11:29:00 +0000

big, enormous happy grin.

256 of 365 "Pickleflower"

chestnut rau — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 01:06:00 +0000

Pickleflower

Friendship and Loyalty

chestnut rau — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 15:34:00 +0000

The thing about dogs is they are loyal. No matter how many times I grumble at Chloe for being underfoot or yell at her because I had a bad day, she still puts her head in my lap every single time I sit on the sofa. If I let her she will climb in my lap, wrap herself around me as much as 45 pounds of dog is able and she will lick my face. Dogs will love you no matter what you do and they are ridiculously loyal friends.

Some days I think Chloe's loyalty is misplaced. I don't take her to the woods and let her run nearly as much as I should. I do sometimes take my frustrations out on her and all too often I ignore her completely. I rarely let her climb on my lap and the face licking grosses me out so that just can't happen.

I am sure I disappoint Chloe a lot. And yet? She is always hopeful today will be the day she can get a little love. She tests the theory by tentatively putting her head in my lap. If I respond she will nudge my hand and ask me to pet her. If I take a moment to pet her it isn't more than a second before she is climbing in my lap, even though she knows full well I am going to push her off every single time.

~~~

I am a very loyal to my friends. Once I let someone behind the firewall it takes a hell of a lot for me to give up on a friendship. Having said that? Occasionally, being loyal leaves me feeling a little like Chloe - hopeful and just a little bit stupid.

~~~

ETA: Why yes, since you asked, this post *is* about one particular friendship. You really did not think I was going to say who, now did you?

255 of 365

chestnut rau — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 01:23:00 +0000

I was not really feeling the photography tonight. Sorry.

Listening to Von Johin at The Cove is good for my mood. That.is.all.

Jack Johnson is my other pretend boyfriend

chestnut rau — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 13:27:00 +0000

If you are paying attention you know who my *real* pretend boyfriend is but please don't tell him about my love for Jack. Jealousy is so ugly. There is plenty of love for everyone.

"Better Together"

There's no combination of words
I could put on the back of a postcard
No song that I could sing
But I can try for your heart
Our dreams, and they are made out of real things
Like a, shoebox of photographs
With sepiatone loving
Love is the answer,
At least for most of the questions in my heart
Like why are we here? And where do we go?
And how come it's so hard?
It's not always easy and
Sometimes life can be deceiving
I'll tell you one thing it's always better when we're together

[Chorus:]
MMM it's always better when we're together
Yeah, we'll look at them stars when we're together
Well, it's always better when we're together
Yeah, it's always better when we're together

And all of these moments
Just might find their way into my dreams tonight
But I know that they'll be gone
When the morning light sings
And brings new things
For tomorrow night you see
That they'll be gone too
Too many things I have to do
But if all of these dreams might find their way
Into my day to day scene
I'd be under the impression
I was somewhere in between
With only two
Just me and you
Not so many things we got to do
Or places we got to be
We'll Sit beneath the mango tree now

It's always better when we're together
Mmmm, we're somewhere in between together
Well, it's always better when we're together
Yeah, it's always better when we're together

MMmmmm MMMmmmm Mmmmmm
I believe in memories
They look so, so pretty when I sleep
Hey now, and when I wake up,
You look so pretty sleeping next to me
But there is not enough time,
And there is no, no song I could sing
And there is no, combination of words I could say
But I will still tell you one thing
We're better together.

254 of 365

chestnut rau — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 00:26:00 +0000

At the Blue Angel, my new Sunday evening fix.

253 of 365 Keeping Confidences

chestnut rau — Sat, 10 Jul 2010 11:42:00 +0000

I am very good at keeping confidences. If someone shares private information with me there is no way I am going to tell anyone, including those who are closest to me. There are certain lines I will not cross.

When someone tells me other people's secrets it makes me wonder. How can I trust you to maintain the integrity of our conversations? How can I let you see into my heart? Will you hold my truths close or will my loves, fears and embarrasments be shared beyond the sacred quiet of our friendship?

If there is a circle of friends under what circumstances is it ok to talk about a third party? If the intent is loving and supportive is it ok? I think these situations can be quite unclear and confusing.

I think, giving my current state of mind, it is best if I stop thinking so much. I only wish I could.

252 of 365 – Thinking about a hiatus from SL?

chestnut rau — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 13:33:00 +0000

This picture is from April 2008. I have always liked it.

I am going out of town later today and hopefully will be thin on the ground because I will be having too much fun to think about Second Life. Then again, its a big extended family weekend and as much as I love them all I may have to escape too.

~~~

The past week has been really crazy for me. My RL job has a lot going on and not all of it is good. I am looking at a pretty stressful summer work-wise.

Yesterday I got to thinking about taking a hiatus from SL. Between NWN deadlines and all the work that goes into finding cool events and exhibits, its a lot of time. Layer on the people I spend time with, the people I want to hang out with but can't manage to find the time and its all feeling like too much. The idea of stepping away from it all has an appeal. At the same time, it makes me uneasy to think about walking away from SL.

I am not flouncing. I am not rage quitting. I am very stressed out and really could use some peace of mind, which has not been easy to achieve of late.

251 of 365 Customer Service in Second Life

chestnut rau — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 21:45:00 +0000

A week ago I was in a sim that crashed and when I got back into SL, like many people, all of the HUDs and attachments I was wearing were missing from the asset server. I filed a ticket with Linden Lab the next morning when my magical thinking approach (it will all be back tomorrow) did not work. Linden Lab has yet to acknowledge my ticket and my things are still missing. To be fair I had a short IM exchange with Oskar Linden who said, yeah its crazy busy. Working on it.

End of discussion.

There was only one item I was even a little upset to have gone missing. When Zha and I partnered in 2008 we got matching claddagh rings. They were custom made for us and I have worn the ring every single day since. I have a stupid sentimental attachment to that particular set of pixels. What can I say.

Zha reached out to Ashira Legien the creator of the rings and owner of Ashira's Aerie on the Isle of Mysts. Ashira asked a few questions and promptly sent a replacement ring.

Ok let's recap. LL does not even acknowlege a ticket for a week. This is a grid-wide problem and lots and lost of people have been impacted. The last thing we heard is LL is still trying to figure out what went wrong. Seriously?

Contrast this to Ashira who replaced an item we bought two full years ago the same day she got the notecard. Oh and she did not charge us a thing. I am guessing we will be customers for life. If you are looking for jewelry please do give her shop a look. Tell her Chestnut and Zha sent you.

Calvin on Art

chestnut rau — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 15:02:00 +0000

I met Douglas Story through my job at New World Notes. He is a fabulous artist and a kind wonderful person. Every time we chat he makes me smile. The other day he sent me this comic strip after we had a conversation about art. I thought I would share it since it cracks me up. Click through to read it in all its snarky glory.

Thank you Douglas!

250 of 365

chestnut rau — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 02:01:00 +0000

Ok so I had the day from hell. Everything sucked. Work, family stuff...all of it. I poured a big margarita and confessed to Zha a boatload of shit about things that happened to me as a young person. You see some fancy pants educators were talking about "trust" and having "concerns" about people who have done things in the past. They seem to be unable to see beyond mistakes and look at the present. So I just sort of unloaded. Let's just say that sex, drugs and rock n roll was more than a tag line for me when I was young. I lived that stuff and frankly its luck that let me live to tell the tale. And yet? Look at me now ma! I have a life I am proud of -- the past be damned.

So, anyway. Zha took this picture as we were talking. Its great.

Also, anyone who can guess the cryptic stuff I am talking about in this post gets a cookie. I guarantee my stash of cookies is safe. You won't guess but IM me if you think you know. Winners are subject to all state and local laws, penalties apply and if you are a friend or family member of Chestnut Rau, Inc then no cookies for you.

~~~~

The image below was going to be my 365. It is an outtake from my NWN post that you will see tomorrow. But today my dear partner Zha is my photographer for the 365 project.

F.E.A.R.

chestnut rau — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 13:37:00 +0000

Forget Everything And Run

False Evidence Appears Real

Forgo Embarrassment And Rebound

Face Everything And Recover